The Five Love Languages Part 5 // Acts of Service
A message by Rev. Dr. Mark S. Jordan, Pastor
Acts of Service: Walking The Talk
- Most of us speak this love language, though we might see it as domestic division of labor
- Acts Of Service also requires us to look differently at gender roles
What Does God Say About Acts of Service:
- Jesus said the greatest is the one who serves. (See Matthew 23:11)
- Jesus washed His Disciples’ feet and told them to serve. (John 13.1-5, 12-17)
Acts of Service Can Make a Difference In Your Relationship
- Can unlock incredible love and respect
- Serve according to your loved one’s love language dialect
- Serve out of love and not obligation
- Little things can make a BIG difference!
Translating Love
- Imagine how our relationships would be if we all took the service approach into our relationships.
- Take-Aways:
Reflection Questions
- How do most people tend to view the love language, acts of service? How do you experience it in your relationships?
- What did Jesus teach about service? How did He model it for us?
- How have you experienced acts of service in your own relationships?
- What can be a major challenge for people who might not be fluent in acts of service as a love language?
- How can you model acts of service as a love language in your life to show how important to you God is and the people He gives you to do life with?
If Your Loved One’s Love Language is Acts of Service
1. Make a list of all the requests your spouse has made of you over the past few weeks. Select one of these each week and do it as an expression of love.
2. Cut out some heart-shaped note cards and print the following: “Today I will show my love for you by….” Complete the sentence with one of the following: mowing the lane, vacuuming the floor, washing dishes, taking the dog for a walk, cleaning the fish tank, etc. Give your spouse a love note accompanied by the act of service every three days for a month.
3. Ask your loved one to make a list of ten things he or she would like for you to do during the next month, Then ask your loved one to prioritize that list. Use this list as your strategy for a month. Get ready for a happy loved one!
4. While your spouse is away, have your children help you do an act of service. When he or she returns home, shout “Surprise!” and show them what you all did.
5. What one act of service have you been nagged about most recently? Why not decide to see the nag as a tag? Your loved one is tagging this as something that is important to him or her. If you choose to do it – as an expression of love! – it is worth more than a thousand roses.
6. If your loved ones request for acts of service come across as nags or put-downs, try writing them in words that would be less offensive to you. Share this revised wording with your loved one. For example, “Honey, I love you so much. You are hardworking (work or home!) and I really appreciate you. I’d love to thank you in advance for mowing the lawn, washing the car, shampooing the carpets, etc, this week before the company arrives.
7. Do some major act of service like washing the car, cooking a meal, painting a bedroom, or cleaning the deck, and then post a sign that reads, “To (name) with love,” and sign your name.
8. If you have more money than time, hire someone to do the acts of service that you know your spouse would like for you to do, such as lawn care, housecleaning, car washing, laundry, etc. If you take the responsibility for getting it done, you’re speaking love even when you’re away.
9. Ask your spouse to share with you the daily acts of service that would really speak to him or her. This might include such things as putting dirty clothes in the hamper, getting hair out of the sink, hanging up your jacket at night, closing the door when you go outside, preparing a meal, lowering the toilet seat, putting the cap back on the toothpaste, preparing a meal, or washing the dishes. Seek to work these into your daily routine. “Little things” do mean a lot.”
10. Periodically ask your loved one, “If I could do one ac of service for you this week, what would you request?” If possible, do it and watch your loved one’s love tank fill up!
Chapman, Gary Dr., The Five Love Languages. Northfield Publishing, Chicago, IL. 1992. Adapted from pgs. 112-113