The Five Love Languages Part 3 // Quality Time
A message by Rev. Dr. Mark Jordan, Pastor

1. Quality Time Because Time Is Precious
- Giving your undivided attention to your loved one
- Giving our lives to each other is a powerful emotional communicator of love
- We all need to connect, and that takes time
2. What does God have to say to us in Psalm 90.1-4?
- What does this passage say about God and time? God is eternal and extends beyond time. And since God is love (wk 1), love extends beyond time.
- How should that change the way we look at spending time with our loved ones? We are not immortal and our time is limited, but our love is not to be. We should cherish each moment we have.
3. Hangin’ Out
- Two Basic Personality Types to the Extreme
- Dead Sea: receives, but does not give
- Babbling Brook: tells about all they see and hear
- What to do about it…
- Quality Conversation
- Focused on the other person
- Listen for feelings
- Quality Activities: not what you’re doing, but why
- At least one wants to do it & the other is willing
- Creates a memory bank
4. Love Needs A Lap … Will You Offer Yours? An ingenious teenager, tired of reading bedtime stories to his little sister, decided to record several of her favorite stories on tape. He told her, “Now you can hear your stories anytime you want. Isn’t that great?” She looked at the machine for a moment and then replied, “No. It hasn’t got a lap.”
Reflection Questions
- What makes quality time so important for one who has that as their primary love language?
- What was the main point that Pastor Mark made about love from Psalm 90:1-4? How should the reality of life and living change the way we look at spending time with our loved ones?
- What are the two extreme personality types that Pastor Mark described? Does a loved one fit one of those categories?
- What makes for a quality conversation?
- What makes for quality activities?
If Your Loved One’s Love Language Is Quality Time
- Take a walk through the neighborhood where one of you grew up. Ask questions about his/her childhood, like, “What are some fun memories from your childhood?” “What are some painful memories from your childhood?
- Take a bike ride here in Peachtree City, for example. When you get tired, take a rest break at a park and feed the ducks. Find some flowers to talk about and discuss your favorite flowers, colors, scents, etc.
- Make a lunch appointment with your spouse and take a picnic to the local park or town square. Thank God for each other and talk about things you’d like to do with the rest of your lives.
- Ask your loved one for a list of six things he/she would really like to do. Over the next six months, make it a point to finish the list; if necessary, space out expensive activities with inexpensive or free ones.
- Make a point to make his/her favorite spot even more special and make an appointment to sit and talk. For example, if his/her favorite place is a chair or sofa, bring a favorite snack, play some soft music, and talk.
- Think of an activity your loved one enjoys, but brings little pleasure to you; i.e., football, ballet, symphony, video games, shopping, or TV. Tell your loved one you are trying to broaden your horizons and want to spend time with him/her this week. Set a date and give it your best effort. Take interest and ask questions!
- Plan a weekend getaway when you can truly leave the cell phone, computer, TV, etc. off and away. Focus on relaxing, doing something you both enjoy without any outside distractions.
- Make time every day (maybe around a meal!) where you sit and talk about the day’s highs and lows. Turn off the TV and really focus on each other. Be sure to listen out for emotions and feelings!
- Have a “Let’s review our history” night every three months. Go to your favorite restaurant or date spot and talk about how far you have come.
- Camp out by the fireplace (or an range lamp!). Spread your favorite blankets on the floor with some snacks and your favorite beverages. Pretend the TV is broken and talk like you did when you were dating. Talk till the sun comes up or you cannot keep your eyes open.