The Five Love Languages // Giving and Receiving Gifts
A message by Rev. Dr. Mark Jordan, Pastor

Receiving Gifts: It’s The Thought That Counts
- Virtually all cultures have gift giving as a part of love relationships.
- Gift giving is a visual symbol of love.
- It’s not about money because it’s the thought that counts.
What Does The Bible Say About Gift Giving?
- All gifts come first from God.
- James 1.17: Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.
- We are to be givers because God is a giver.
- Genesis 33:10-11: “If I have found favor in your eyes, accept this gift from me. For to see your face is like seeing the face of God, now that you have received me favorably. 11 Please accept the present that was brought to you, for God has been gracious to me and I have all I need.”
Making the Thought Count
- Receiving Gifts is by no means a shallow love language.
- It might require you to change your views on money and the value of things.
- Perhaps the greatest gift you can give is the gift of self.
Reflection Questions
- What do you think about giving and receiving gifts as a love language? Did this week’s message help you think differently about gifts?
- What makes giving and receiving gifts such a unique love language?
- What does the Bible teach us about the impetus for gift giving?
- Read and reflect upon Genesis 33:10-11. How should we approach giving and receiving gifts?
- What is perhaps the greatest gift you can give someone?
If Your Loved One’s Love Language Is Receiving Gifts
1. Try a parade of gifts: leave a box of candy for your spouse in the morning; have flowers delivered in the afternoon; give another gift in the evening. When your loved one asks. “What’s going on?”, you respond: “Just trying to fill your love tank.
2. Let nature be your guide. The next time you take a walk through your neighborhood, keep your eyes open for a gift for your loved one. It may be a stone, a stick, or a flower. You may even attaché special meaning to your natural gift. For example, a smooth stone may symbolize your marriage with many of the rough places now polished. A rose may remind you of your loved one’s beauty.
3. Discover the value of “handmade originals” and make a gift. Consider enrolling in a special class (ceramics, woodworking, painting, etc.) for the sole purpose of making a gift for your loved one.
4. Give your loved one a gift every day of the week. It need not be a special week, just any week. I promise you it will become “The Week That Was!” If you are really energetic, make it the month that was. No—your spouse will not expect you to keep it up for a lifetime.
5. Keep a gift idea notebook. Every time you hear your loved one say, “I really like that”, write it down. Listen carefully and you will get quite a list. This will serve as a guide when it’s time to select a gift. To prime the pump, look through a catalogue or sales circular together.
6. If you’re having a hard time thinking of a gift, ask a friend or family member who knows your loved one really well for advice or even to help pick something out for him/her. Most people would be more than happy to help pick something special.
7. Gift the gift of your presence. Commit to do something you ordinarily wouldn’t want to do. Who knows, you might even enjoy the ball game, symphony, play, or ballet.
8. Give your loved one a book and commit to reading it together. Then set aside time to discuss the book and relate it to your life, interests, or desires. Pick a topic that really excites your loved one.
9. Give a lasting tribute. Give a substantial gift to your loved one’s church, favorite charity, etc. in honor of his/her birthday or another special occasion. Ask for a special card to be sent to inform him/her what you’ve done. This will inspire your loved one as well as help others.
10. Give a living gift. Purchase and plant a tree or flowering shrub in honor of your spouse. You may plant it in your own yard or in a place (like a public park) where others can enjoy it. You can get credit for this gift year after year. If it’s an apple tree, you may live long enough to enjoy its fruit!
Chapman, Gary Dr., The Five Love Languages. Northfield Publishing, Chicago, IL. 1992. Adapted from pgs. 94-95.